NeatBuzz has the hottest, most social content on the web. you will love all kinds of things you'd want to pass along to your friends.


NeatBuzz has the hottest, most social content on the web. you will love all kinds of things you'd want to pass along to your friends.

NEATBUZZ.COM NeatBuzz has the hottest, most social content on the web. you will love all kinds of things you'd want to pass along to your friends.


Published On: April 19, 2014, By: Sarah Perez, Mississippi


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It's not hard to spot a fearful flier when theyíre making the sign of the cross right before takeoff. That or they'll ask about turbulence instead of what's for breakfast as soon as they step on board and I greet them in front of the cockpit door. Others will cling to the armrest for dear life and request a couple of vodkas to wash down the valium. Fearful fliers arenít the only ones freaking outófrequent fliers can be ten times worse. So what do frequent fliers fear most?


1. Coach
Nothing stresses out a frequent flier more than the possibility of sitting in coach. Iíve seen grown men stomp their feet like children when their upgrades didnít go through. Next time you fly check out all the sullen faces in the first few rows of coach. Thatís where theyíre sitting. Their names are next on the list. Theyíve got their eye on the prize and nobody is cutting in front of them. My husband has actually flown a few hours out of his way to connect to another city just to ensure an upgrade on an international flight.

2. Middle Seats
By far the biggest fear for any flier, not just frequent fliers, is the dreaded middle seat. ďHey somebody has to sit there,Ē I told one passenger. ďNot a frequent flier,Ē he replied. He had a point. Business travelers are the bread and butter for airlines. The problem is that there are so many frequent fliers, the airlines had to create another top-tier VIP level to separate the million-milers from the three-million milers. Might explain why one passenger brought along a few X-rays of his knee to prove why he could only sit in an aisle seat. Another passenger offered $100 to anyone in an aisle seat in front of him willing to switch.

3. Running Out of Overhead Bin Space
Boarding, for a frequent flier, is like a military operation. Itís all about preplanning and execution. In other words, getting the bag in a bin. Theyíre already in position to board before the agent even picks up the phone to make the announcement. They know where their seat is. They know their bag will fit. They walk onboard, make that sharp right down the aisle, and zero in an an empty space like a.....? Very rarely are they talking or holding a Starbucks cup. Theyíre on a mission. Nothing will come between a frequent flier and his bag space. Ask a frequent flier to check a bag and they might lose it in front of everyone. Time is money. A road warrior doesnít do baggage claim.

4. Pasta
Frequent fliers know whatís on the menu. Thatís because they were probably on the same flight yesterday (and know the crew by name). So when it comes to choosing a seat that will guarantee them the meal of their choice, they know the drill. That said, nothing says first-class travel quite like chicken. Or maybe steak. Iíve seen passengers mentally break down after I informed them all thatís left to eat is penne pasta in a cream sauce. One guy wadded up his business-class menu and chucked it at the seat in front of him. I always make sure to point out itís the best choice for a relaxing flight, since all those carbs and heavy cheese will put you to sleep faster than an Ambien. Sleep, however, is the last thing on a frequent flierís mind. Or maybe they just know a good carbonara should be held together with the freshest of eggs, not, my God, cream!

5. No Wi-Fi
Frequent fliers are business travelers. Theyíve got work to do from the moment the captain says itís safe to use electronic devices until itís time to put away and stow everything for landing. They donít have time to sit through an elaborate meal service. Itís why airlines provide a dine-upon-request option just for them. And why theyíre eager to get rid of their meal tray as soon they take that last bite. God forbid they have to wait a few seconds for a flight attendant to finish serving the last row of passengers. Itís so bad that one passengerís boss demanded he standby for a later departure after being informed that our flight from San Francisco to New York didnít have Wi-Fi.

6. Other Passengers
The inability of his fellow man to properly negotiate a public space will make a frequent flier insane. Take for instance passengers who stroll through the terminal as if they have no place to be, passengers who stop without warning to read a sign, passengers who stand on the walking conveyer belt as if it were a ride in the kiddie section of an amusement park, passengers who, dare I say it, are on vacation. Because a frequent flier doesnít even know what that means anymore. Vacation? They havenít taken one in God knows how long. Heís been on the road for days. Weeks! Thatís why heís eager to move past you. He needs to check the upgrade list, get the bag in the bin, and fly home before he has to do it all over again.



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